Why Do People Who Love Each Other Go Their Separate Ways?

Why do people who love each other go their separate ways? This happens all the time. Maybe you have experienced this yourself and have had to leave the person you love. There is more going on in these breaches than just incompatibility, communication problems or lack of tension.

People who love each other tend to end it and get back together several times before they finally end the relationship. They separate, stay together again and try again. There are a lot: “This does not work, let’s give each other some space” and “Let’s try again. We’re doing it right this time. ” Unfortunately, nothing seems to work. At the end of a relationship, love becomes painful. The steps you take to keep it alive only make the wound bigger.

Françoise Sagan said that to love someone is not just to want them, it is to understand them and be able to connect with their reality. Perhaps that’s the main reason why people let someone they love go. Letting go is the only way for them to be themselves and avoid eternal suffering.

Reasons why people who love each other go their separate ways

A good part of your life (especially in your teens), you probably thought that love is the glue that holds it all together. Nevertheless, as you grow older and experience more of the world, you realize that love does not actually overcome everything. Disappointingly, it is not the magic ingredient for a happy relationship.

To understand why people stick together or separate, it’s good to go back to some of John Gottman’s classic studies. Over the past 40 years, both Gottman and Robert Levenson have studied relationship dynamics through therapy, interviews, examinations and follow-up of couples.

So despite the fact that a long and happy relationship seems as complicated as a Rubik’s cube, it’s much easier than you might think. Understanding the basic factors that will make two people love each other can help you understand relationships. Let’s take a look at some of these reasons.

Different life plans

You choose to be in a relationship for some of many reasons, such as passion, attraction, friendship, unity and chemistry. However, you feel that there is a big gap that will not close, a source of suffering that will not go away.

Your life plans can get in the way of your perfect relationship. For you, your work is everything. All your future plans are about your career. Your partner, on the other hand, is more focused on having children. They are not so excited about your professional ambition.

I love you, but I do not understand you

Understanding someone means putting yourself in their situation and connecting to the external reality. This probably seems basic and important, but it can be extremely difficult to do with a romantic partner. Sometimes love does not know how or just will not understand.

People who love each other: You do not value me

Another common reason couples break up is that one of the partners feels unappreciated. This is a situation where time erodes the relationship in a very concrete way. After being with someone for a while, you start taking things for granted. Their actions, efforts, small gestures, virtues, etc.

While your partner should not feel obligated to praise you, validation and recognition are important for a healthy relationship.

Communication problems

Communication is extremely important in relationships. Knowing how to listen, speaking in a self-assertive way, knowing how to disagree without becoming overly emotional and making compromises are the cornerstones of any relationship. Thus, poor communication is another reason why people who love each other end it.

People who love each other: To give up

Their relationship does not exist in a bubble. Thus, it is not protected from the events and circumstances of their lives. In fact, you need to relate to your family, especially parents. This bond between parents and children can sometimes be so strong that it disrupts their relationship.

In addition, there are many barriers in your professional and social life that can get in the way of your romantic relationship. Infidelity, temptation or jealousy can sow the seeds of doubt in one or both partners.

Sometimes you find yourself in circumstances that reveal your partner’s true self. An illness, a legal problem… Seeing how your partner responds to these challenges can change the way you perceive them.

In conclusion, it is sometimes difficult to understand why two people who love each other separate. However, as you can see from this article, love is not enough to maintain a relationship.

Relationships are built. You need to create them with great care and use the best materials you can find. That way you will have a stable, beautiful and long lasting relationship.