What Prevents Me From Opening My Wings: Emotional Addiction
If I feel something is holding me back, I will not be able to take off, I will not be able to fly. If I do not feel free, my wings will not open and lift me up. Even though we know this, why are so many people getting stuck in relationships eating them up inside? The key may be emotional dependence and their need to be loved and valued.
The fear of loneliness or isolation is the basis of emotional dependence, which leads to conditions that are too intense and inflexible. Addicted people cannot imagine a life without a relationship or someone to validate them all the time. The moment they feel alone or end a relationship, they look for a new one. This happens almost immediately because they feel unprotected and abandoned.
When we want to fly, we want to feel light and we want a nest to come back to. But once we get the tools we need, we can try to ease. That way we can see what is outside and see what we really want, and most importantly, enjoy the flight.
If we’re in a harmful, bad relationship, this flight may not be possible. It will prevent us from climbing to the top and gaining a new point of view. Attached to the nest where it is possible to see everything around us.
Opening my wings to fly: Good self-esteem is a fundamental part of the puzzle
The various characteristics that define people who create these inflexible and limiting conditions are those that have:
- Problems making decisions for yourself
- Constant need for love
- Low self-esteem
- Need for other people’s approval
- need to constantly have to be in a relationship
The most important piece of all and the one that triggers the others can be low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem feel weak and helpless, they do not trust themselves, and therefore they seek that security from places other than themselves.
If we become strong and create a good foundation of self-confidence, we can build a good relationship at the top. When I feel confident in myself, I have the ability to decide what I want at any given moment. This allows me to build my wings.
Two strong and independent people make the decision to go down a path together while thinking about the positive and the negative aspect of this relationship. That way, they can see and make good decisions. Their foundation is built on good self-confidence and good judgment. Not on need and weak conditions.
It takes work to construct my wings
Working to break down your emotional dependence on other people takes work, effort and self-discovery. What am I missing and what am I looking for in another person? This is the question. Having our own time means that we ask ourselves if what they give us is what we want or deserve.
If we lose this time and do not allow ourselves to think and be alone, we can not see what we want or what we have. Most importantly, we will not find the freedom to decide whether we want to fly or stay where we are.
Emotional addiction makes it difficult for us to appreciate ourselves because we look to the outside to fill in what is missing on the inside. Stop and think, do they make me happy ? Do I feel valued? Do they help me become a better person? Do they motivate me or do they hold me back?
The idea of a healthy relationship is: I can live just fine without them, but I’m better off with them. What makes us strong, whole and secure people is always a decision, not a need. Let us work with our wings, our self-confidence and let us be free when we fly.
