Rafael Santandreu: “Use Your Inner Dialogue To Be Happy “
In his latest book, Nothing is so Terrible , Rafael Santandreu offers a practical manual for personal transformation and self-therapy through inner dialogue. It is a very thorough and original work that will give you valuable strategies based on cognitive psychology.
Santandreu stands out for his ability to make you understand the origin of your own unhappiness and the way your thoughts shape your reality.
Our interview with Rafael Santandreu
In our interview with Rafael Santandreu, we go deeper into the importance of how you interpret the things that happen to you, even the very worst.
As a psychologist and therapist who specializes in short-term strategic therapy, Rafael Santandreu invites you to ask yourself and look inside yourself to understand how to limit your human potential.
In his latest book, Santandreu shares interesting philosophical approaches to show you how the foundations of happiness and positive psychology are your own thoughts.
Nothing is so Terrible has original and innovative lessons to help you grow. The book even helps to awaken your inner joy. It is definitely worth reading.
Is cognitive psychology based on changing our inner dialogue?
That is correct. According to Epictetus “we are not disturbed by what is happening to us, but by our thoughts about what is happening to us”. This means that you are not sad because your boyfriend left you. You are sad because you think: “I am alone! I’ll never be happy! I need him / her! ”
In fact, most of these contradictions should not affect us as much. However, due to a very negative inner dialogue, they lead to anxiety or depression.
Do the strongest and happiest people have a special inner dialogue?
They have. They are not fatalists. Yes, they may be annoyed by life’s adversity, but they do not allow it to prevent them from being happy.
One of my pillars of emotional strength was Stephen Hawking, the researcher in the wheelchair. Hawking could not move at all because of his condition. He said his illness was a trifle. He thought that as long as he could still do valuable things for himself and for others, he could be happy. This is the reason why he became one of the most important researchers of all time and a very happy person as well.
Can we all learn to be like that?
I can assure you that if you use Hawking’s personal philosophy, your emotional state will change. You will not be affected by small things, and you will have a lot of mental space to enjoy life. It’s all about your inner dialogue and your outlook on life.
What are the perceptions of this new philosophy of life?
One of the basic principles is to fight the belief that you need many things to be happy. We really only need water and food every day.
Everything else is indispensable. For example, having a partner or a job is not important to being happy. All you have to do is stop complaining and appreciate what you already have.
Do we have to be healthy to feel good?
Not really. Health is the first thing we lose when we get older. I assure you that you can still be happy even with a chronic illness. For example, look at Stephen Hawking again. Once again, what matters is what you tell yourself.
After losing a loved one, many become depressed. I assure you that depression is a product of their inner dialogue with death. I think death is good, even beautiful. Why? Because all natural things are good and necessary.
It does not matter if you live a long life or a short life. The important thing is to live a great life. People get depressed when their loved one dies. However, the world is full of people to love. They are your siblings. Love those as you love the important people in your life who are no longer here.
According to cognitive psychology, is there a “right” way to face adversity?
Yes. For example, my books are a collection of philosophical principles that will convince you that you can be happy no matter what. You will find many arguments that make you say, “There is nothing that can make me unhappy!”
In fact, Epictetus, the philosopher you were talking about, was a slave.
Just. He was born a slave! His parents were slaves, and he was sold after he was born. His master, Epaphroditus, took him to Rome. Despite all that, he was happy. He said to himself, “As long as there are valuable things to do for me and others, I will be happy.”
Just like Stephen Hawking. You see, the key to happiness is your inner dialogue. If you control your dialogue, you will learn to be happy.
Is it a daily thing?
Yes. Cognitive psychology will ask you to revise what you say to yourself every day when something bad happens.
For example, you are stuck in traffic. Do not say to yourself: “This sucks! This should not happen! ” Instead, say this to yourself: “It does not matter if I am stuck here. I can do many good things while I wait. I can sing or even call my mom. ”
Do you need to check your inner dialogue after each problem, big or small?
Just. The next time you are stuck in traffic, you will be surprised to see how little it affects you. Another example is if someone says something ugly to you. Work on it so that it does not affect you. “I do not need everyone to like me. It does not matter if someone insults me. That’s their problem, not mine. ”
How long does it take for our inner dialogue to begin to make us feel better?
During the first month of working hard on it, you will start to see good results. After three months, you will feel 80% better. After a year or two, you can feel 100% better. You have to work on it every day.
You will feel much happier, dare to do so much more and appreciate the good things in life.
