I Did Not Come For You, I Came For My Ego: To Be Together Again
Why do some of our exes only come back into our lives when we are well? Some relationships are very off and on, where one or both will stay together again and then they pull apart, creating a very unprofitable situation.
The only person who was not there for us when we needed them will suddenly return when we have picked up the pieces. And many times they do not come back for us, they come for their own ego.
The ego likes everything that matches its expectations. When our ego dominates our way of loving , we find ourselves in a game of Russian roulette where we win when our most whimsical and selfish desires are met.
Above all, people with a big ego are looking for recognition from other people, and especially their partners. Because they do not want to give themselves anything.
To create a relationship that satisfies both parties, we must negotiate the desires of our ” I “. Then we will have a relationship where we both feel good. The love we want is as important as the love we offer.
The ego has no idea what love is
The on-and-off relationship is an exhausting, destructive dynamic. This often happens because a person wants to remain in the early stages of falling in love. But this prevents the relationship from growing and maturing.
People with an egocentric love believe they are still entitled to their former partners. Therefore, they try to get them back, especially when they see how the other person gets their life back.
They think they have the right to go in and out of their ex’s life. They think they have the right to fill the tidy, clean new rooms the other person has spent a lot of energy creating.
But it does not do any good to be with an ex again, just to go back to the same old things and abuse the space the other person has worked so hard to create.
If you are the one they are trying to be with again, take a moment and think about all the work you have put in to move on and what you deserve.
Some people get back together under this premise: “it is better with the devil you know than the devil you do not know”. Other people do it out of fear of being alone.
And some people do it because they have no one to feed their ego, fulfill their desires, and tell them how good they are.
Get back together… Can it be good?
After a breakup, the desire to find together with the person we have shared so many experiences with again, will be very strong. But… be very careful.
According to experts, if we take that step, it may be a good idea to think about it for a while before actually taking it. During that time, we have a job to do: identify the reasons for being together again, theirs as much as ours, and consider them.
For example, thinking that the other person will change what we do not like about them is an expectation the other person will have trouble living up to.
On the other hand, if we come back to them, it must be because we like the person they are, with all their good and bad qualities. But we must be clear that what we do not like about them, and what is important to us, can put an end to the relationship again.
Getting back together is an important enough decision that we should not be impulsive with it.
It is true that we can listen to this impulse, and even put it on the scales, but the previous break and the effort we have put in to heal ourselves… they deserve a little careful consideration.
