How To Set Boundaries For Children

How do you set boundaries for children? When introducing them, it is important that they are clear, fair and proportionate. However, there are other aspects to consider as well. In this article, we give you some guidelines.

Limits for children are the “rules of the game” of upbringing. They allow you to learn behaviors and transfer values to your children. But how do you put them?

In fact, getting the little ones to respect boundaries is no easy task. Furthermore, there is no single way to do it. Nor is there one way that is best. However, there are some ideas that can help you. If you follow these guidelines, the limits you set will include elements of instruction as well as being fair and reasonable.

How to set boundaries for children

How to set boundaries for children? Are some ways better than others? Here are eight ideas to help you.

Start with simple boundaries

In general, children do not react badly to boundaries, but sometimes they need time to adjust to them. But if you explain them properly and they understand them, they will probably follow them. Unless, of course, you are dealing with children with difficult temperaments, behavioral disorders or who are extremely disobedient.

Once you set boundaries, it’s best to start with simple ones. Then you can gradually increase them according to the baby’s maturity.

Set clear boundaries

Another key idea about setting boundaries for children is that they should always be extremely clear. You need to explain to the child what the limit is and what will happen if they exceed it.

This explanation must always be adapted to their age and stage of development. Ultimately, the most important thing is that the child knows what he can not and why.

Promote reflection

When setting boundaries, it is important to encourage your child to reflect on why he or she should not perform certain behaviors. In fact, they need to reflect on their behavior and the consequences.

You can promote reflection in several ways. For example, through games or by setting an example. The idea is that not only do they know what they cannot do, but they also understand why. This helps them remember the boundaries.

On the other hand, the child must also reflect on their behavior if they exceed the limits. In other words, when they have behaved badly.

Be firm and consistent

When setting boundaries for your children, you need to be firm and consistent. This means that the boundaries must be coherent and logical.

For example, you can say “do not climb on the balcony because you can fall down”. There is a clear limit here, and an explanation of what will happen if they exceed it.

Furthermore, as we mentioned above, you need to be consistent. For example, if you explain to your children that if they exceed the X limit, Y will happen, make sure you keep your word. Because, if you do not, they will probably not take you seriously next time.

Suggest options

Another key idea on how to set boundaries for children is to suggest alternatives to their behavior. Say, for example, “You can not do X, but you can do Y.” What you are doing here is promoting appropriate and positive behavior, which acts as a substitute for maladaptation or inappropriate behavior.

Remember that children need choices. This is especially important when you are banning or restricting their behavior. Furthermore, it is also a learning experience for them.

Use overcorrection

Overcorrection is a behavior modification technique that consists of asking the child who has performed an inappropriate behavior to restore the original situation or to “fix” the consequences of the action.

For example, if they have drawn on the wall and they know they should not have done so, overcorrection means they have to wash it. This is a useful demarcation technique that teaches a child that certain actions have certain consequences.

In addition, it is a much more beneficial technique than others, such as punishment. This is because the child in this case is learning something positive. They are not punished or scolded.

Set fair and proportionate boundaries

The boundaries you set for children should always be fair and proportionate. If they are not, the child may be confused or even reject them.

Furthermore, if they see the logic in the border, it is easier for them to remember it and respect it.

Pay attention to their age

Another important punk is to take into account the age of the child. Ideally, boundaries should be the type they can understand and are relevant to their stage of development.

Do you find it difficult to set boundaries? What do you think helps you? Each family obviously has its own way of raising their children. Nevertheless, borders are a universal benefit for all.

Boundaries provide children with guidelines. They are like a compass telling them where to go and where not to go.