How To Recognize A Habitual Liar

Statistically, almost all of us know a habitual liar. They tend not to admit that they do, since it is not socially accepted, but they have perfected the art of lying with a lot of practice. Internally, they understand that lying can be a resource, just as valuable as any other resource, as long as it does not harm anyone and no one finds out.

They may not be able to fool you anymore because you have known them for so long, but they are fooling other people they know or see less often. They know that the fewer details they provide, the better. They know how to hide their face so that it does not reveal them. And they know that ambiguity is their best friend.

It seems that people who mix reality with fantasy, wash away the lines between them in their heads. They are used to treating them both as the same, because both exist in their lives.

From white lies to compulsive lies

Ever since we were young, we have been told that if we lie, our noses will be as long as those of Pinocchio, and that it is a great sin not to tell the truth. It is not uncommon for us to grow up with the idea that a little white lie “will not hurt anyone” until we gradually begin to change our definition of reality.

Some people cross the line of what we consider “normal” and end up as pathological liars. And then come the questions: do they do it on purpose? are they aware of it? Are they aware of the harm they are causing others? Unfortunately, in most cases: no. And worst of all, if you try to help them, they will reject you or just tell an even bigger lie.

Pathological lies: from Hollywood to reality

There are not many scientific studies that can explain the reasons why people become pathological liars.  However, there are many performances that portray pathological liars on the big screen. For example, in Taxi Driver , Robert de Niro plays a young taxi driver who writes a letter to his parents in which he writes that he is actually working on a secret project for the government, and that he is engaged to a girl.

A true story of a pathological liar is that of Tania Head (her real name is Alicia Esteve), a young woman born in Barcelona, ​​who claimed that on September 11, 2001, she was on the 78th floor of the south tower of the World Trade Center at the time of the attack.

She showed the wounds she had received from the attack, and told the events in great detail. In 2007, The New York Times revealed that she was a fraud, and later Channel Four in Spain released a documentary about the incident called September 11. I invented everything (11-S, me lo inventé todo) . It was still not possible to determine what motivated her to lie. Some say it was to make her famous, while others say that lying was not so far from the truth for her.

This is how you see a pathological liar

Beyond the stories that have been portrayed on the big screen or that have been discovered by the media, you can find yourself with a pathological liar without even knowing it. How do you know if someone is openly lying to you? It can be a little difficult at first, and you may need a strange detail that does not fit with the rest of the story to stop believing what they say.

It is important to know that pathological liars do not have control over what they say, or over the effects that come from their lies.  Their lies are generalized, disproportionate, persistent, and most are spontaneous and ill-considered.

For example, pathological liars will constantly change their story. They retract something they said in the past, or exaggerate the story a lot (as for the taxi driver / CIA agent). They probably also have a more spectacular version of past events than you have. They live in a parallel reality, and they are unable to respond to the contradictions, and blame memory problems for that.

Why should you watch out for pathological liars? Basically, because of their lack of control over what they say. They may have problems or irregularities in the brain or central nervous system. This is not an excuse for them to keep lying, it’s just something to be aware of when you come across a fantastic or inaccurate story.

But most of all, you need to be aware of liars who do not think about the people they are lying to, who think they are just a means to get what they want, just like lying. These people are more dangerous than pathological liars. Why? Because they are fully aware of what they are saying! Their lies are in their favor; they help them to get up and step on others.

Lies are never good in any situation. Pathological liars are not “forgiven” for their suffering, but they deserve our help. Ask them to consult a specialist and motivate them to follow proper treatment.