Emotional Pendulum: From Being Quiet To Screaming

It is not an exaggeration to say that we are a little illiterate when it comes to emotions. We generally learn how to think and what to value, but not how to deal with emotions. Apparently morality and ethics control our actions and that is it. But emotions also play an important role. Yet they do not teach us this at school. Therefore, when we reach adulthood, many of us still do not know how to deal with our emotions. It leads to an emotional pendulum.

People usually do not know how to deal with anger, one of the most misunderstood emotions. An emotional pendulum swings when a person decides to shut up their complaints or keep quiet about the problems they have with someone. After a while, all of these build up and explode like a pressure cooker. Therefore, the pendulum swings between two extremes: silence and scream.

People who fear their own emotions, especially anger, tend to be in an emotional pendulum. In the same way, these people do not know how to limit the way people treat them. This is what makes them swing between the extremes and fail to deal with their aggressive emotions. However, you can always learn to control your emotions better.

Emotional pendulum and self-control

Often, people with emotional commutes do not understand self-control. They tend to confuse control with oppression, which is something completely different. Self-control is a result of your conscience while oppression comes from treatment and fear.

The main difference between the two is that the one who exercises self-control, develops this ability before any high emotional intensity situation. In other words, they have done the necessary work to maintain a state of calm. It is a lifestyle where you are conscious of taking care of yourself. Thus, people who exercise self-control will almost never lose their emotional balance.

In contrast, oppression means keeping it inside. You experience emotions with deep intensity but avoid expressing them. In that case, there is a break between the internal and the external.

It is true that we sometimes have to take advantage of that oppression to prevent an unwanted situation from getting worse. However, they include tendencies to suppress this step further. In reality, they want to express themselves, but for some reason they can not.

The vicious cycle of an emotional pendulum

The same people who tend to oppress themselves are the ones who often present an emotional pendulum. This oppression is the cause of their absolute silence or their penetrating cry. They usually do not feel that they can express what is bothering them. Thus, they believe that it is not possible to express their disagreement without anger. Therefore, all this leads to a conflict, which is exactly what they wanted to avoid in the first place.

In addition, they usually do not feel that they have the right to express something they do not agree with. For some reason, they believe that their feelings are not worthy or legitimate enough to be expressed and taken into account by others. They keep quiet and suppress themselves because something or someone has made them believe that they should not say how they feel.

All the discomfort they have locked in, always reaches a breaking point. It is at that moment that their emotions finally take over. What they have really kept inside is a time bomb that will explode sooner or later. And the cycle keeps repeating itself over and over again.

Less oppression, more confidence

There is practically only one thing you can do to not fall into an emotional pendulum of emotions. The solution is obvious: say what bothers you as soon as you feel it. Do not wait for the best time to do it or until you are full of reasons to be able to talk about it. By saying what you have to say immediately, the emotional burden will not be as heavy as if you shut your mind inside.

Keeping things to yourself is like setting a trap. There comes a point where it is physically impossible to be confident because too many emotions are locked inside. Self-confidence is the ability to say things so that others can understand them properly. Be clear and respectful at the same time. Above all, be consistent. Say what you mean or feel.

When there is a lot of accumulated anger and you end up exploding, it is basically impossible to be confident. Anger and anger make us blind and do not allow us to communicate. Suppression never works. On the contrary, it poisons us internally and ends up harming others as well.