Daily Sadness, Your Unwanted Companion

Daily sadness paints the canvas of your life in shades of gray. You probably wish you could accept it a little better. To take advantage of this special feeling that proves so inspiring for both artists, poets and singers. However, you do not like it. Furthermore, when you experience it, you tend to intensify the sadness even more so that it can completely take over your daily life.

Friedrich Nietzsche said that reality can seem awful at times. Yet sooner or later we discover that it is not so unbearable and simply accept it. In fact, in a way, our emotions and feelings have an inexorable power to give us abilities and values ​​we never knew we had. None of these conditions are useless. This includes sadness.

Paul Ekman is an expert in studying emotions. He claims that there are few psychic realities that actually focus us to the extent that sadness does. In fact, it is a feeling full of strength and purpose. This is because it serves as a reminder that in order to move forward, we must take action.

It is true that sadness that you feel daily can often be unbearable. However, this feeling is a part of life itself. Therefore, if you know how to accept and understand it, you will improve your overall well-being.

“Sadness gives depth. Joy gives height. Sadness takes root. Joy gives branches. Joy is like a tree that extends into the heavens, and sadness is like the roots that go down into the earth’s womb. Both are necessary, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes at the same time. The larger the tree, the larger the roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That is its balance. ”

 – Osho –

Living with daily sadness

You may ask if it is normal to feel moments of sadness in everyday life. Yes, it is. Moments of sadness that come and go throughout the day are completely normal. However, it is not normal to feel permanently sad to the extent that it holds you back.

Nevertheless, daily sadness is often perceived as something negative or can even be seen as a sign of mental illness. This is basically because of our instinctive desire to avoid it. In fact, you will probably just close your eyes and hope it disappears. As a child, you probably heard the words “Do not be sorry” when you really should have been asked “Why are you sorry?” and then been helped to deal with it.

Sometimes you put yourself on autopilot in an attempt to alleviate your sadness. You are trying to distract yourself. You shop, go out with friends, go to the cinema… This is perfectly acceptable and even advisable, but you do not listen to your sadness and it must be heard. In fact, by curbing your sadness, you are also curtailing your ability to enjoy everyday life.

Sadness is not the same as depression

You need to stop looking at sadness as a negative emotion. In reality, it is an adaptive feeling with benefits. However, the ideas around sadness are often wrong. One such idea, probably the most common, is to associate sadness with depression. In other words, believing that people suffering from depression are “sad”. However, sadness and depression are different. Let’s see why:

Sadness. It is an adaptive feeling that forms an inherent part of your life. It occurs when you experience disappointment, pain or loss. However, it can also occur in moments of happiness. In fact, in these intensely meaningful moments, your senses are significantly increased in general. Consequently, you may feel fleeting moments of sadness.

Depression. Mood disorders such as depression can actually make you feel numb and numb. This means you do not feel anything. It is a void, a feeling of deep apathy. Other times it is anger, guilt, shame and even hatred, more than sadness.

The cost of daily sadness

Daily sadness, the kind that comes and goes through the day comes at a price. It feels uncomfortable, and for that reason you try to make it disappear. You listen to music, visit a friend, read a book, shop, eat something. All to distract you from the feeling of sadness.

Nitika Garg at the University of New South Wales conducted a study in which she concluded that sadness has both financial and health costs. This is because when people feel sad, they go out and buy things they do not need or eat unhealthy foods (rich in saturated fat).

These are common behaviors. However, they are also harmful. For this reason, when you feel sad, it is best to confront it, not dodge it. Otherwise, these harmful behaviors will increase and become more permanent.

The surfboard technique to confront sadness

Surfers are aware of the enormous challenge of facing a wave. In fact, they wait anxiously for it, but when it arrives, they feel a mixture of anxiety and restlessness. The same thing happens with grief. It is your long-term companion who comes and goes, and when it comes you feel anxious. However, there is no point in trying to avoid it. You simply have to face it, just as the surfer faces the wave.

Surfers basically have two techniques. They can ride the wave or take a duck dive. The first is to seize the moment and go for it. Go with the flow, understand what needs to be done, and do it. When done right, good things happen.

Sometimes, however, the wave is too big. In the same way, your grief is sometimes enormous. This is when surfers use duck diving. This means that they dive under the wave with their board and let the wave pass over them. In the same way, when faced with situations where you have no choice, you just have to endure the moments of anguish. Sooner or later it disappears. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. Then you will be able to arrive calmly afterwards.

Daily sadness is a part of your life. Learn to face it intelligently.