An Emotional Armor: A Double-edged Sword

It can be difficult to face what is happening in your life, either because you are scared, do not know how to act, or because you are trying to avoid pain again. In cases like this, you may be using emotional armor to protect yourself.

The thing is, by doing this you are hiding your essence and dressing up. You may even become too attached to the fake image you portray.

When you put on emotional armor, you stay away from experiencing authentic experiences. It is as if you place a huge barrier in front of you that, in addition to limiting you, prevents others from getting to know your true self. Thus, this shield as protection interferes with your ability to open up to the world.

An emotional armor as a defense mechanism

You can put on an emotional armor to face reality without suffering too much. This way you avoid feeling bad and you protect yourself from what you consider to be serious threats, for example:

• Relationships with others. Maybe you are afraid that people will judge you or think bad things about you, or maybe you feel that your behavior is not appropriate. As a consequence, you hide your essence while painting a picture that you think other people will like or expect from you.

• The future. This is when you go ahead of yourself and think about the thousand possible scenarios that can happen to maintain a sense of control. Thus, you think you are protected because you have already thought of everything. The problem is that you really have no control over anything because you are only thinking about the future.
• Yourself. Since you have thoughts or feelings that you do not think are acceptable, you put on emotional armor to protect yourself from them.

Not only do you protect yourself from possible threats, but you also create different disguises, different ways of acting, or in simpler words: you use defense mechanisms.

Here are some of them:

• Insulation. This emotional armor pushes you to get away from your thoughts and feelings. It forces you to disconnect to protect yourself, to resist what is happening without suffering. The problem is that this mechanism makes you someone you are not.

• Oppression. This way of acting consists of eliminating the things that are painful for you by making them wander unconsciously in your mind. You think that if you erase these feelings, they will never be able to hurt you. What happens instead, however, is that you manifest them in other ways.
• Projection. This is one of the most commonly used defense mechanisms and one that you are largely unaware of. To project is to blame other people.
• Denial. Blocking what you are thinking or feeling because what is happening in your life is very difficult to accept.
• Displacement. This “disguise” forwards your thoughts and feelings to other people, situations or things.
• Regression. When it’s hard to face your problems, you can behave in a way that is not appropriate for your age. This is an immature way of accepting what is happening to you.

Get rid of the emotional armor

The first step to getting rid of the emotional armor is to connect with yourself. Once you know who you are and accept it, you will show your authentic self to the world.

Once you have established the deep connection with yourself, the next step begins. Be aware of those moments when using a defense mechanism. In what situations do you use them? Do you use the mechanisms on all or only certain people? When and with whom are you authentic? These questions can help you become more aware.

Work with yourself

On the other hand, it is also important to work on other aspects of yourself. For example:

• Love yourself. When you do, the fear of being who you are disappears and you begin to value yourself.
• Stay close to those who love you the most. It is impossible to be completely fearless, so when you feel a little insecure, try to talk about it with the people who love you. They can really support you.
• Stay away from those who do not accept you for who you are. Identify the people you can actually get in touch with to establish relationships with them and stay away from those who do not like you.
• Say goodbye to prejudice. If you leave prejudices, it will be easier to accept and get to know others. This will also help you to show your true self.
• Do not make assumptions. Assumptions are not facts, but hypotheses. Trying to guess what will happen or how people will act will only overwhelm you.

Being aware of these aspects will make it easier for you to get rid of your emotional armor and really start being yourself.