A Person’s Essence Is Worth More Than Outward Beauty

I like people who do not judge things because of appearance. I like people who are curious, passionate, enthusiastic and patient enough to enjoy every page of a novel. People who take the time to discover its essence and magic.

The most beautiful treasures are found if you look past the faces and clothing style. Sometimes the most incredible person is hidden behind a  shy  facade.

Of course, it is easy to say such things. It’s a perfect expression, you can see it on the cover of a self-help book. But we know that  many people come up with preconceived notions and stereotypes. 

The classic belief is that beautiful means good, attractive means noble and youthfulness is worth retaining at all costs. These ideas mean that we are stuck in a hypocritical society.

It is not easy to see a person’s essence just by sight. And that does not mean that it just takes time. In reality, you have to break down all the prejudices society has put in you and told you that were right.

Everywhere you look today, the tide of protectionist sentiment is flowing. You need the desire to dig a little deeper, to move beyond the physical appearance and “truth” that has no room for exception.

Because we often find ourselves in situations where everyone is trying hard to become something they are not. They falsify virtues they do not have and hide their true beauty under several layers of makeup. They also suffer from diseases such as  bulimia.

This type of behavior is unhealthy and sad. Instead, look for the essence in yourself and in others. You need to find the perfect balance between who you are and how you feel. And what you show the external world.

Why does my brain want to jump to conclusions about other people?

We are too busy, hyper-stimulated and distracted to notice details. This is exactly what is at the root of the problem. That’s why 90% of us judge a human being based on appearance alone:  we make quick judgments so we know how to react. 

The brain is a born economist. We know that a computer metaphor is worn out, but whether you like it or not, this “almost” perfect body seems like one. It processes data, comes to a conclusion and generates a response. 

So, when we come in contact with someone else, our brain  will  say that it is “unbelievable.” Whether they are foreign, from a different culture, have a different skin color, etc.  For many people, “different” still means “dangerous”. So the brain sends cautious signals for us to distance ourselves.

However, this brain has a history it uses to reach such conclusions. Our teaching, past experiences and personality are some factors that multiply the brain’s filter. 

These factors are primarily responsible for how we react to differences. They affect whether we either listen to prejudices or put our stereotypes aside. We can show openness and interest to the person in front of us.

How do we see a person’s true essence then? We can reach that by expanding our perception, by expanding our filters. Try to take power away from the stereotypes that society has instilled in you. Only closed and inflexible people with a tunnel vision use these random labels without thinking.

To respect your own essence

Until now, we have talked about the importance of looking beyond what our senses tell us. That way we can go deeper into things that are below the physical appearance.

However,  very few of us have the opportunity to take that trip if we do not examine our own essence first. That way we can show the world who we really are. We can present ourselves, without distortions and falsehoods.

It’s not easy to do. Your false self is really a defense mechanism. You use it to hide your insecurities, fears and maybe even trauma. And we can not forget the influence of gender roles that force us to follow a certain path.

Women are  supposed to be beautiful and immortalize young people. Men on the other hand should be strong and confident. It’s hard to be yourself in a world that tells you from the beginning how you “should be.”

It was  Carl Gustav Jung  who said that  there is nothing more difficult to achieve than individualization. It is the place where we have the opportunity to connect and live according to our own essence.

According to the Swiss psychiatrist, this journey towards uniqueness will have different battles. We must fight against prejudices and stereotypes that our complex (and selfish) society has built up over time.

Only then will we have the opportunity to enjoy our inner essence and live in harmony with it. At the same time, we will be able to respect the essence of others. The journey, and the result, is more than worth it.