Mortgage: When I Sacrifice Something, But Expect Something In Return

We all know what debt is: Payment obligations between two entities that must be met. But few people realize that relationship debt also exists, especially between couples. Today, you may find that you have a pending mortgage to settle.

Relationship debt arises when we give up something important with ourselves in a relationship. This debt represents true sacrifice. However, because of these great actions, we expect certain things from the other person. Thus, we collect debts that no one notices.

The trap of debt in relationships

Mortgages are traps that we almost never notice. They occur due to lack of direct or sincere communication in the relationship. Instead of expressing how difficult it is for us to accept a situation we do not like, we just remain silent.

Consequently, a silent debt is generated that the other person is not aware of. What happens then? Blame begins.

For example, let’s say your partner found a job in another country. It’s an incredible opportunity and you decide to join. This means that you have to leave your job and hope to find someone else in the country you are going to. But over time, you begin to blame your partner for not finding a job and living far away from your family.

In addition, what you encounter most will be what you sacrificed to allow your partner to develop professionally while you left everything, including your professional development. Thus, you want the other person to reward you for your sacrifice. So what you have done is enter into a relationship debt.

Mortgages or emotional blackmail?

Mutual debt can occur between partners, friends or even family members. Sometimes they actually become an emotional blackmail. We demand what we think we deserve. We sacrifice ourselves and give without limits. But in the end, we just want unlimited compensation for it.

It is common to think that if we give up something for a relationship, we will be rewarded in some way. In every relationship there must be a constant give and take. However, this is far from what we understand that debt is.

This type of debt is contracted as an opportunity to let the other person see how much we care, and at the same time ask for and receive what we believe compensates for our great sacrifice. We want to exercise control that we do not have. That’s when blackmail begins.

But how can we avoid this? The truth is that this situation can actually be avoided. First of all, we should immediately understand that, even though it may seem cold, we must tell the other person what we expect in return for our efforts. If you realize that you are not getting a fraction of what you expect, it is best not to make that sacrifice.

It is also necessary that we keep our eyes open for the sacrifices that others make for us. In addition, you need to make clear what you are not willing to tolerate and the demands that you will not accept in exchange for what others do for you.

Almost all of us have taken out mortgages without realizing it. This debt damages our bonds, causes painful breaks and creates enemies. We should start paying off all that debt and learn not to take it on ourselves in the first place.