The Art Of Listening

Yes, listening is an art. After all, not everyone knows how to do it. In addition, remaining silent until the other person stops talking is not the same as listening. Thinking about what to say while the other person explains their idea is not the same as listening.

Listening means processing what you hear, giving it a meaning and making a real effort to understand what they are saying. To understand, from their perspective, what they are trying to share with you. In this sense, silence sometimes says much more than words. And because of this, it is important to learn how to use it.

Many times, listening is nothing more than just listening. You do not have to say anything afterwards. But it requires trust. You need to understand the feelings of the person telling you their story and connect with them. It also requires investment, which comes from patience and being second-centered (the opposite of self-centered).

You understand that listening opens a door to a person’s heart as soon as you stop listening to yourself. The moment you stop thinking about your problems and start seeing their ailments, that you start hearing what they are telling you. At least in that moment, you care about their lives, not yours.

You want to listen to how they really feel, not just how you think they feel. You want them to feel that you are there for them. And that you do not just want to say simple things like ” I know”,  ” I too”,  ” I understand”.  Because this does not really help. You just want to be there, by their side, listening to them.

Create an ideal environment for listening

This ideal environment is quiet. You want silence, even if it’s uncomfortable at times, to be honest. But it is necessary. Silence gives us space to think and process the words we hear.

If you manage to take care of the silence, you will have a relaxed environment. Listening gives you tips on what the other person needs, and you can only do this when you really focus on their story and how they tell it.

Silence is a pause that invites them to continue talking. Silence helps you listen to yourself too. And finally, silence is a stage for talking, especially for people who are not very talkative and need a little push before going out on stage.

Just close your eyes and listen

Just close your eyes, close your lips and open your ears. Disconnect from the brain and connect to your heart. Now you are ready to listen. Everything around you has its own sound, and if you speak, you will not be able to hear it. Everyone who talks to you tells you something about who they are and what they have been through. You can not really know others if you just listen to yourself.

Stop using words that are meant to end the conversation and make the other person stop. This is not listening. Sometimes listening means not giving an answer. Or maybe it requires a simple reaction, like a hug or a smile after they finish talking.

Focus on creating a context for listening, and nothing more than that. Concentrate on being willing to hear what the other person will tell you. That way you can react and know what to say and do afterwards.

Listening is an art because it connects people with colorful strokes from a brush. Listening is an art, because it gives you a chance to learn something you did not know before. It gives you access to new worlds and new emotions.  Listening gives you a way to help.