I Need Someone To Talk To

“ I need someone to talk to. “We have all felt the need at one time or another. There have been situations that completely overwhelmed you, times where your emotions have been a mess, which overshadow everything you do, dull your perspectives, and even make it difficult to breathe. Fear, anxiety, sadness… where do you start?

If there is one thing that is more important than knowing how to begin solving all these thoughts and experiences, it is knowing who to open your heart to. Why? Because not everyone is good enough, and not everyone is willing.

Sometimes you can not even get the support you need from those closest to you. For example, your partner, friends and family. It only takes a negative comment, or some unhelpful advice, to aggravate your already damaged state of mind.

When you want to get rid of your burdens from something specific, or look for support, it is clear that not everyone is suitable or competent enough for such a task.

Because when it comes down to it, you want more than just talking or communicating. You are looking for those who can mirror you, where you can see yourself without being judged.

You want people who are a haven to turn to and who can help you stop feeling anxious. You also need people who can give you healing just by looking them in the eye and feeling their presence.

I need someone to talk to: why, with whom and how?

There is nothing that defines a human being as much as their ability to communicate. Although we are all quite competent at expressing ourselves in words, the same is not true of our emotional communication.

Problems occur in this area. We are reluctant to do so because we find it difficult. In addition, no one has taught us how to talk adequately about what hurts and worries us.

Studies such as the one conducted at Purdue University in the United States by Dr. Brant R. Burleson clearly show that it is important for all of us to have the emotional support of those closest to us. However, it is important to be clear on one thing: Having someone who provides good “emotional support” does not always mean that you will be able to have real heart-to-heart conversations with them.

To understand this better, we will give you an example. You can usually count on closeness and emotional support from your partner or mother. However, when you really need to talk to someone about deeper aspects, these people may not be the most suitable for the task.

Why? Well, maybe because things have happened to you that you do not want them to know about. Or it could simply be that, even though they are very fond of you, they are not the most suitable people when it comes to easing the pressure on certain things. Let’s take a closer look at this.

Why do you need someone to talk to when you are having a hard time?

You really need someone to talk to, either because something has happened to you, or because you feel overwhelmed, stressed or worried about something. People often need to get things “out of the system” and ease the pressure. That’s why something as basic but powerful as talking and sharing your feelings is always the best strategy for these reasons:

• You feel that you are finally “doing something”. Talking about something means doing something active. You are already doing something positive and healthy for yourself. It is a change, and all change is good.

• By talking to someone, you are not just offering information and airing what you are feeling. When you communicate, you also listen to yourself, and this exercise acts as a mirror and allows you to discover more about yourself.
• When you air your thoughts, feelings and emotions, you realize that things are somehow not as bad as you thought. Silence can often make you feel trapped and can make you feel worse. As you speak, you begin to relax, and gradually the light begins to rise for the situation.

Who should you talk to?

When you need someone to talk to, not everyone is suitable. It is important to realize this right from the start. Sometimes, no matter how much a person may love us, they may not be the right person for a variety of reasons:

• When it comes to talking to someone about things that hurt and worry you, you need someone who can respect your privacy. The last thing you need is for them to share your secrets with someone else.

• You need someone who knows how to listen and be with you. Nothing else. The last thing the other person should do is start giving you their opinions, challenge what you say, or tell you what they would do in your situation.
• The person should not judge you or ask questions or criticize what you say. If they start doing this, they can do you more harm than good.

In the same way, this person should also have qualities that facilitate emotional communication. Qualities such as empathy, closeness, active listening, sensitivity and compassion.

Sometimes you can use a friend. However, the most appropriate figure when you need someone to talk to is a psychologist. Not only will they have the qualities we just pointed out, but they will also have the necessary tools to help you deal with your problem.

You need someone to talk to: Where do you start?

“When I need someone to talk to, I do not always know where to start. My head is full of emotions, thoughts and emotions. I just feel exhausted. And the endless exhaustion rotates in my mind even more. That’s why I don’t always know how to start talking about these things. “

The words above are often heard from people who are coming to therapy for the first time or who just decide to be honest with someone close to them.

Either way, it’s a good idea to have some simple strategies that can help you (or others).

• Explain how you are feeling right now, right now. Let go of the things that come to mind and the feelings you can feel inside.

• Do not be ashamed if your voice starts to crack. Do not worry if tears come, let them flow. Speak without fear. Remember that you are in a safe place and that showing emotion is healthy and necessary. As a result, you will feel better.
• Explain how long you have felt this way.
• Try to find the cause, or the source of it all, and talk about it. Explain things clearly.
• Be honest, resorting to half-truths or covering things up will not help you at all. If you have reached the moment where you really need someone to talk to, it means that it is time to release what is inside you. Let all barriers fall.
• Try to use the personal pronoun “I” at all times. It will allow you to channel your feelings (I feel, I fear, I think…).
• Look into the other person’s eyes. Their closeness and warmth will guide you with love, so that you can talk more easily.

Finally, most of us will go through times in our lives when we feel the need to talk to someone. Let’s choose well. We should also not forget that in these situations, the people who are often most qualified to help are professional psychologists.