5 Important Tips For Dealing With Frustration Positively
Frustration is one of the worst emotions we have to deal with from childhood. In fact, it is very difficult to deal with frustration, despite our ability to feel it from a very young age.
The feeling is intense, and no one teaches our little ones to channel this feeling. On the other hand, many parents who worry about their children’s emotional intelligence overprotect them. In adulthood, many of us still do not know how to deal with frustration, and this can hurt us.
But what exactly is frustration?
Frustration is a negative feeling. But, just like any emotion, it fulfills a function. Frustration is the result of not getting what you want or expect. In fact, it means that there is a difference between what we want and what we have. In other words, the ultimate function of frustration is to direct our attention and make us respond.
However, often, when frustration becomes very intense or intense, it can not fulfill its function. We become more adapted to the unrest we feel than what it will tell us. So, let’s talk about 5 important tips for dealing with frustration positively.
Advice for dealing with frustration
1. Remove yourself from situations and events
As we said, frustration can be very intense, which can lead you to exaggerate certain events and see the situation in a distorted way. So, dealing with frustration involves removing yourself from the events, postponing decisions you have to make, and trying to look at the situation from a bird’s eye view. When you feel frustrated, look at the “big picture” and try to see it all from the outside.
Assess all the positive and negative aspects of the frustrating situation and analyze them. You can also compare it to something worse that has happened to you before. Tell yourself that what has happened now is not as bad as what you have experienced before. These little “tricks” will divert your mind from events and allow you to see the situation objectively.
Feel the frustration and let it go
When an emotion overwhelms you, whether it is frustration, anger, sadness or joy, it is best to feel it and then let it go. This means you feel them in depth and let them go. The more you do not feel the frustration, the more you will actually feel it. It is the paradox of the human mind. Later, you may end up developing obsessive-compulsive disorder where you make an effort not to think about “X”, but end up thinking about “X”, “Y” and “Z” all day.
Therefore, the mind works like this: the more you avoid thinking or feeling “something”, the more you actually feel it. Observing, feeling and letting go is a basic skill that can greatly enhance your emotional intelligence. If you want to feel the emotions and let them go, you can train yourself in attention skills or in acceptance and engagement techniques. All of these approaches can help you reduce the negative effects of this feeling.
3. Be calm and please
Frustration is the worst counselor. It usually leads us to behavior that is not right or beneficial, even self-destructive. However, it is a very powerful feeling with a high proactive effect. This is because frustration causes us to attack or damage the object that causes this feeling. It is a feeling that makes us more vindictive than forgiving. For this reason, it is important to avoid acting under its effects.
It is very important that you take a moment to calm down when something or someone frustrates you. When you feel better, you can start thinking about the next steps to make concrete decisions. On the other hand, it is also important to listen to the message of your feelings, what they want to tell you. Frustration makes you act either by making changes in yourself or changing the way you do things.
4. Learn to deal with frustration by distinguishing between desires, needs and reality
Distinguishing between what you want, what you need and what is actually possible seems easy. But it is not. Frustration often arises because desires are confused with personal needs (“I want my boss to praise me for the work I did”), protection or acceptance (“I need my boss to value me”), or what is really possible by taking a look at the circumstances that exist in the moment (Reality: My boss ignores everything, does not have time, and acknowledges nothing).
In other words, what you want may or may not be what you really need. All of these may require things that may be more or less sufficient. So, separate what you want (after all, you can get what you want), what you need, and what you can give the people around you. It’s about how you adapt your needs to reality. You may want to get all the things you want, while knowing that you do not need many of these things. They are just opportunities or challenges.
5. Consider whether you have to accept the situation as it is or change it
If you can not change your frustrating situation, it is normal for your feelings to increase. When there is no more room to deal with the situation, acceptance is the key. Let us explain more precisely what is the difference between when frustration is worth it and when it is not.
If you are in a situation that can change, frustration can be your friend and can serve as a beacon for change. As soon as your frustration subsides, it’s time to consider what needs to change and how. If the situation is impossible to change, move away from the thoughts that are causing your emotions until the frustration disappears.
These 5 important tips, when used properly, will help you deal with your frustration positively. This way , you can take advantage of and deal with one of the most unpleasant emotions, while avoiding direct confrontation with it.
