Make no mistake: I’m single, but I do not feel empty or alone. I’m not lonely. So you do not feel sorry for me, do not put me in a box or try to find a partner for me. I’m exactly where I want to be. Being single is so much smarter than sharing your life with the wrong person.
What is clear to everyone is that wanting, or needing to be single at a certain time is not something that gets much understanding from society. In fact, Aristotle himself said that only gods and monsters like to be alone. On the other hand, there were several French moralists in the 19th century, such as the Marquis de Vauvenargues, who explained that loneliness is for the soul what a diet is for the body; something we should all practice from time to time.
We should all learn how to be single and enjoy it from time to time. Many people who fail to do this are faced with the difficult task of filling all the gaps, overcoming what they fear, and alleviating their insecurities in the worst possible way: by using other people or connecting with the first person they see. .
They do anything to protect themselves from the demons of loneliness and lack the ability to be alone with themselves. But this is not the right way to handle it.
I’m not lonely: I’m single, but I’m happy
” I’m single, but I’m fine.” Even though this type of expression is becoming more common, they still have the impression of having to explain and defend themselves, of having to say “I’m not lonely”. To make it clear to everyone that even if you live alone, without a partner or someone else by your side, it is a pleasant loneliness. A chosen experience that they enjoy, even though not everyone else can understand it.
There is no doubt that times are changing. But still the idea of a single woman is not perceived in the same way as the idea of a single man. It is as if time passes faster for women, as if they are pressured to do everything as quickly as possible to adapt to the biological clock that is being pushed on them by society. They need to have a good job, find a good partner and become a super mom.
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But as I said, times are changing. Women are no longer necessarily as obsessed with finding a partner anymore. Many prefer to be found. Others set aside their biological clocks and instead choose to follow their own mental and emotional compasses. They can feel whole with a partner, of course, but if the relationship does not work then they can follow their own path. They are responsible for themselves and their lives and are not afraid of loneliness. They can always find themselves again and this is both healthy and soothing.
You are not alone, you are surrounded by life
When we have a friend who is single, we always try to find opportunities for them to meet someone. We tell them that it’s not good to be alone and that falling in love with someone is always worth it. In short, that life is much more beautiful when you experience it with another.
But our single friends might say, ” I’m single and I’m happy this way,” “I’m not lonely,” or ” I do not want to have anything to do with it .” Some will understand this, but many will see it as strange precisely because loneliness is not considered attractive, but rather as an unfortunate setback.
If you take a moment and think about it, you will realize that we are never, in fact, alone, not one of us. We are always surrounded by life. And most of us feel a sense of belonging to a group: family , friends, acquaintances, etc. A partner does not always save us from loneliness, and that’s not what they are for either. Sometimes they can bring us closer to the darker sides of loneliness, such as emotional loneliness.
No one is alone if they learn to love themselves. We all live in our minds. Because thinking, dreaming, projecting, protecting and feeling are not separate actions . We are dancers in our inner worlds. We heal wounds, we forgive and we are the architects of our own destinies.
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So do not make the mistake of thinking that I’m lonely. I’m not lonely because I’m attached to life, because I have hope. I have stopped being afraid of fear. I am a contented occupant of my own inner space and I look to the future without anxiety, because I know how to use the present.
We should all be able to enjoy selected moments of loneliness from time to time , where silence and inner peace make the fruit of the soul mature.
