You Deserve The Love You Give To Other People

You deserve the love you give to other people. You deserve the same level of sincere, selfless and authentic love. But what you get back from other people is not always equal to the love you give. It’s not always so strong, or so real. Life is not a boomerang: The love you give will not always come back. Yet you almost never give up on your efforts to give people the best of you.

Almost everyone has been told at one point that if you want to attract people, you have to do “nice” things for them. How to start a behavior pattern full of all kinds of small details, services, preferences, gifts, flattery, etc.  You know that love comes from attention, but there are times when you exceed your own limits. 

We are not just talking about romantic relationships. The world is full of people who give infinitely. There are so many people who do not realize the enormous cost of offering the whole soul without getting something in return. These are people who commit to others with every fiber of their being. They think it’s more than just a worthwhile investment: it’s the meaning of life. But when it comes to love, making extreme sacrifices is not always a good thing. It has consequences, and it can have serious consequences for your mental and emotional health.

You deserve the love you give, not a cheap replacement

When you take care of something, it thrives. Plants are a good example of how true this is. See what happens when you place them in the sunlight, fertilize them, remove the old leaves, and move them over to larger pots so they can spread their roots. Attention, concern and affection make you grow in every sense of the word, and in every direction. Just as the gardener takes care of his plants, do not forget to take care of the gardener. They also need attention and care. It is a small detail that so many of us forget .

There are people who have gone for decades and released their radiant love. They overwhelm people with attention and emotions that they do not always get back with the same positive energy.  Somehow they are the people who have accepted a different kind of love.  It is a cheap substitute that does not help you flourish, but that actually poisons you. However, this does not stop these people from doing what they do every single day.

Right now, you may be asking yourself why they are doing this, or why people are stuck in a one-way relationship. The answer is much more complicated than you might think.

The reason for this pattern of behavior

We can say that there is only a lack of self-confidence, but it goes beyond that. When these people go to therapy, the first thing experts do is discover how their internal dialogues flow. The moment they ask them to talk about themselves and who they are, they say things like, “ I am the second of three siblings. You know how difficult it can be, no one gives you any attention ”. And then comes “ I am a seller. I had to start working right away and could not go to school, you know. I had to give up on many of my dreams… ”

What you see a lot of the time is lives that have been cut short. You notice a kind of resigned acceptance and get the feeling that they, deep down, think that they only deserve this black and white reality. They fall into relationships that do not really bring them  happiness. They only see them as valid because they do not think they can get anything better. In their minds, life has always put them second, so they might as well take what they can get.

Give yourself what you need

You deserve the love you give to other people. To think this is not selfish, it is an act of personal integrity and dignity. You have long used the only gardener or architect for the conditions you have created the basis for. You have built every single part of them, and you are also the only one who makes sure that the roof does not fall into their heads. You are the only one who makes sure that love remains safe, sheltered. But you are stuck outside, and the cold begins to sink in.

You deserve the love you always dreamed of, but do not have right now. As we said before, life is not a boomerang: you do not always get back the love you give. A lot of the time the boomerang stops halfway or doesn’t even come back. So stop throwing it.  Stop waiting for people to give back what they are not willing to give.  Stop putting all your energy into an investment that only gives you losses, not gains.

You deserve the kind of love that does not hurt, the kind that fills you and helps you grow. You should be demanding and feel that you deserve it. There is no better way to do this than by changing your strategy. Stop being a “giver” and become a recipient. You are already an expert at giving the wonderful kind of love that makes people feel validated and important in life, so start receiving that love as well. Confirm yourself, water your inner garden and chase the dreams you one day gave up on. Do not settle down, throw away all the rusty acceptance. Free yourself and find yourself.