Silence Is An Addict’s Biggest Accomplice
Silence will always be an addict’s biggest accomplice. This is where he finds his best refuge. Where all his humiliating aggressions and each of his blows are shielded. These are later camouflaged by a “I promise this is the last time it will happen” .
Then these promises go up in smoke when they discover a new “rejection”. Or when you disagree with them, or when they feel the need to validate their power. Simply put, addicts suffer from chronic insecurity.
An addict will always seek your forgiveness. But he will not hesitate to maintain the same abuse, or the same harassment. The only way to escape this circle of power is to take away the abuser’s best accomplice: silence.
Virginia Woolf said in her diaries that few things are as dangerous as a house, as a home. From the moment the doors, windows and curtains close, no one can guess what is going on inside. The drama, the aggression and the pain that is impregnated in the walls and hearts. As well as in the pillows soaked by the tears from all the wounded minds.
Silence is and will always be the best refuge for someone who attacks, for someone who violates. You must break the silence and give a voice to all the victims.
And abusers allies
Covert violence is the most common type in our society. Whether it is the public attack of a woman or hidden in the home of a couple. It is so much, that according to a study conducted by the UN, it is estimated that 35% of women worldwide have been abused. Also, almost 70% of them have suffered through an attack at some point. These are facts that we should reflect on.
The addict may be educated and have a good job, or he may be unemployed. He can be young or old, and of course he can also be a female . Sociological patterns are usually not widely used by experts to identify them. And even less if you have an important aspect in mind : the abuser is usually set very high on socially. In fact, he is usually a “good guy” to other people.
Now comes the problem when, just like Virginia Woolf said, the doors of a house close and no one or almost no one knows what’s going on inside. Because the one who uses violence only expresses it with whom they have a very intimate affective bond with: their children or their partner…
Addicts use aggression as a form of force. They are not able to look at their partner as a person with rights or needs. As someone who deserves to be respected. Because they are “an object they own” , a part of themselves. Therefore, in any attempt at independence, there are those who feel abused. Their masculinity feels vulnerable, their power status.
The partner then chooses to give in, be quiet and fall into the subordinate relationship. The kind where psychological abuse and even physical abuse leaves wounds that can not always be seen with a single glance. Taking the step of rejecting them to break the silence is not easy. Because, whether you believe it or not, the victim does not always feel understood.
In many cases, they have to confront their close circle of family members and friends. In fact, they do not believe that the abuse or aggression, which despite leaving no marks, robs them of their lives.
Social services and care centers for victims know, for the most part, that many are afraid to formalize the complaint out of fear of “possible retaliation” by the aggressor.
These are undoubtedly very delicate situations where the fear of breaking the silence is still the addict’s best accomplice. Their best refuge and their shield of power. It is everyone’s responsibility to go out and change the mentality. We must get the victims out of the private rooms of torture and humiliation.
Because no victim should feel alone. Because everyone is a piece of the puzzle that is our society. A place from which they can condemn, give a voice and be receptive to any suspicious behavior where a woman, man or child may suffer some form of abuse.
