7 Tips For Dealing With Bad Feelings

It has probably been several times that you have felt that you could not control bad feelings and that everything you tried to do only made them worse. So you concluded that controlling the uncomfortable  emotions  that are struggling to get out is an incredibly difficult task. Well, sometimes the key is to deal with the emotions without facing them directly.

You may have heard of “frustration tolerance”  and how this is something that is wise to teach our children. It’s really common sense because life will not always give us what we want or do what we want.

Life will frustrate us. It is as if it provokes us to become stronger. Our  plans  will not work as often as we had thought, but it does not have to be that bad if we know how to turn it around. There will inevitably be unexpected changes that will disrupt our lives and put us to the test.

That is why it is so important to teach our children how to deal with their bad feelings by starting with this assumption. Because if we do not, if they just feel a little frustrated, they will throw it away and anger will take control. Frustration  must be handled intelligently.

ACCEPTS: skills for dealing with bad feelings

Roughly the same thing happens with all kinds of bad feelings. It feels like a slight pain that appears and does not go away very quickly. But, it comes with a meaning and a reason, like all emotions. That is why it is important to listen and understand it. Then you can shop.

It’s not about hiding or pretending to be nothing when we encounter something we do not like. It is more about not letting it overwhelm us or letting it control our behavior. ACCEPTS is about just that. ACCEPTS is an acronym that summarizes a series of very useful strategies for dealing with the bad emotions that often invade.

1. A is for activities: find an activity you can channel your frustration into

Here we are talking about doing an activity that you enjoy, feel comfortable enough to do and that is fulfilling. It is an activity where you can feel peace, since peace never fails to evoke positive emotions. Find your activity. Each person will choose something that suits them depending on what they want to feel right then.

For some, drawing is what you think of. For others, it is to relax by cycling or running. And for some, playing the instrument is best. Find your activity and let it help you make the bad feelings go away… little by little. 

2. C is for Contributing: Contributing to improving our environment

When we talk about contributing, we mean giving time to others, helping or collaborating because we like it. No other reason. It’s about feeling usable and about helping the environment. When we contribute to the well-being of those around us, our sense of personal effectiveness will improve. The consequence of this is that the bad feelings disappear.

3. C is for Comparisons: Have realistic comparisons

Sometimes we compare ourselves to someone who is going through a worse situation. This gives us a sense of  relief. The same thing can happen when you compare your situation with another, more difficult situation you have handled. All of this helps us to distance ourselves from what we are feeling. Many times we tend to see ourselves in the middle of the hurricane… 

… A place where chaos is born and grows. But distancing ourselves from the center of this destructive force and looking at our situation in a realistic way is healthy. It can help you get rid of bad feelings. For example, it will prevent us from breaking ourselves down.

4. E is for emotions: Using emotions against emotions

This idea is related to the first: activity. Here we are talking about  generating feelings and emotions that are different from the bad feelings we are feeling right now. One way is to do an activity, do something. It will help us to give up the feeling we do not like.

So do not worry about what others are doing or thinking. Do not lock yourself in a home after a breakup, even though you may think others will look down on you if you do not. If that’s what you want to do, do it, but if you do not feel you should, do not. Most likely, the critics are not the ones who love you or want to help you.

5. P is for Push away: Take distance

By pushing away, we mean  putting the situation that creates so many bad feelings in you away for a little while. Although this idea does not work for all situations, it does work for some. Think about how many of your bad feelings would go away if you just made an effort to focus your mental attention elsewhere.

We can process them later if we have to. Occupying ourselves with another activity will reduce our bad feelings. It will help us to distance ourselves from the emotional hurricane.

6. T is for Thoughts: Thoughts feed emotions

Sometimes we have to stop feeding the bad feelings with our thoughts. When we finally quit, many emotions will die out. For example, while it is very positive to learn from our mistakes, especially if you do not repeat them, it is not positive to bind ourselves to repent forever. We can not constantly think about theories about what happened and wonder “what if”….

Learn, get well and forget. Remember the lesson, but forget what happened. Do not come back again and again to punish yourself. If you do, you will lose. Because all kinds of punishment like this will end up being a dark, scary maze.

7. S is for Sensation

Now is the time to create a sensation that we will feel in a very intense way to distract us from the bad feelings we have. By a sensation, we mean the things that we feel with our senses. A tasty meal, a touching movie, a relaxing massage…  Sensations like this can pull us back down to earth and take us out of our own heads.

Learning how to tolerate our bad feelings is something that must begin within us. It is also a job that may have different strategies or steps. There may be steps as above that do not involve direct confrontation with our emotions.